His Dreams, Her Dreams or Both?: Success, Sacrifices and Relationships

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I was recently watching the infamous VH1 series, Love and Hip Hop Hollywood . Maybe I should restate that. The tv was actually watching me as I was cooking. Now before you anti-reality tv folks stop reading, stick with me here. I can understand your resistance as I’ve weaned myself off reality tv over the years. Somewhere between the alcoholic beverage tossing and unnecessarily flashy events, I too could do without it. At least the ones filled with drama. But the scene I am about to describe was particularly interesting in regards to success and relationships.

So there was a scene between cast members Omarion and Apryl. The two have been in a relationship for a few years and have a son together. From what I have seen of the show, they seem to be one of the happier couples. Probably the happiest compared to their drama-ridden cast mate’s relationships. But as they were driving from a radio interview, in this particular scene, they began having a pretty heated discussion. Apryl found herself in a ball of frustration as she expressed to Omarion that she felt he was putting her dreams on hold. Omarion, a R&B artist and former member of the 2000s boy group B2K, has experienced his own share of success over the years. So Apryl, being the supportive partner through a significant portion of his success (at least the more recent years) is questioning when she will be able to see the same in her own musical career. Omarion assures her that they will commence working on her music and continue developing her as an artist but Apryl doesn’t look too sure.

This brought up an interesting question in my head. (Cause there are always a plethora of challenging questions being asked up there.) Especially for men and women who may have sacrificed (or put on hold) his/her own dreams for that of their mate. Should it be his dreams, her dreams or can both coexist?

I’m sure being the partner of a music artist has its perks – the spotlight, money, cars, clothes, etc. But what about (using Apryl as an example) when you go to bed at night dreaming of your own singing career while your man is out on the road touring and getting money to support your family? Gotta be some type of feeling. Now remember this could go the other way as well. A man could also find himself in the shadows of his very successful woman. Take for instance the classic Stedman and Oprah example.

Might I point out that this concept of sacrifice in careers and relationships is not only limited to celebrities. It can very well be seen in the everyday lives of us common folk as well. Consider the man starting his own law practice. Perhaps this new venture will require his wife to be a stay at home mom in order to save money that would be spent on daycare to instead go towards the practice. Or on the flip side, the actress who flies across the country on a regular basis to pursue her craft while her husband must hold down the fort at home. Now these are hypothetical situations but as you can see they could very well mirror the challenges that couples face when it comes to success and careers.

This post does not imply that my opinion stands firm in either direction. But watching the scene between Omarion and Apryl really got me thinking about success, careers, relationships and sacrifice. Curious to hear your thoughts and experiences.