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Do you know a Negative Nancy (or Norman…gender equality 🙂 )? You know, the person that has a negative response for everything. Or the chronic complainer? Even worse, are you that person? (*Puts hand over eyes.*) We live in a negative world that’s full of hurt and disappointment. So we’re all going to have our bad days, complaints and frustrations. Though it is important to not make it a lifestyle. In the spirit of self-care, here’s why we should avoid this energy in our lives whether we’re the cause or the victim.
Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People
1) It will wear on you.
It will drain you to constantly take on a negative energy. If you’re constantly listening to negative talk it will likely make you more pessimistic. You may start hearing that negative speech in your own thoughts and words.
Also, like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”. People tend to (typically) hang out with those that are most like them. Even if this may not be the case with you and the Nancy (or Norman) in your life, be careful. People may automatically assume you come with the same negativity just by association.
2) Misery loves company.
We’d like to think that those around us want us to be happy even if they’re dealing with their own problems. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes it makes people feel better to know they’re not the only one struggling or unhappy. Be careful of this. Wish the best for that person, pray for them, lift them up in your positive thoughts, offer support (with boundaries of course) if you’d like but don’t drag yourself down with them.
I was once telling my mom about a former colleague who was always draining me with negativity. I love her response. She told me: “Don’t let her problems be your problems!”. Simple yet to the point!
3) They may not root for you when you win.
Similar to the last point, we’d hope that all of our friends, family and other close connections want to see us win. Not always the case. I’d say that through my adult years I’ve been reminded of this truth quite a few times. Certain connections would be negative and I’d think “they don’t mean any harm…that’s just so and so being him/her”. Until something positive happened in my life and I received a fake congrats or none at all. And as unfortunate as those realizations may have been, they’re lessons learned. Not to mention more motivation to cheer on the next person’s victory.
Reasons Why You Should Avoid Being a Negative Person
1) You are hiding from the real problem(s) instead of solving it.
If you’re constantly being negative, chances are you’re unhappy about something. Carrying on those negative vibes is only going to bring more unhappiness. Look at the issues and possible solutions.
Take me for example. I have had multiple jobs that I complained about constantly. (Shout out to all those listening ears! Sorry for the excessive rants! 🙁 ) And I know many people complain about their jobs but at one point in my life, I had it bad. In retrospect, I wish I would have channeled my frustration into something positive like exercising. Or took up a hobby that would help me shake off the stress. Eventually, I did start mixing up my activities a bit more, went back to school and got better jobs. More importantly, I learned how to manage the problems better by giving myself solutions instead of hiding out in Soapbox Land.
2) You will speak negativity into existence.
One of my favorite inspirational speakers, Joel Osteen (Pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, TX), spoke in one of his books about a former high school friend of his that illustrated this example. Osteen explains that in school his friend, Ned, was an attractive young man that was in shape. But when people would ask “How are you doing, Ned?”, he’d respond “Oh I’m just getting old, fat and bald.”. Osteen ran into his friend years later as an adult. And guess what? Ned was old, fat and bald!
Moral of the story: Don’t be Ned! 😉
3) You won’t have time to appreciate and be grateful for what you do have.
If you’re constantly being negative, how can you appreciate the good things? I’ll pick on myself again and do another yours truly example.
From time to time, I find myself thinking “I have 2 degrees and still have yet to have the career I want.”. Which is a common frustration amongst many people in my age range that have completed (and are now paying loans for 🙁 ) degrees. At least that’s what I’ve gathered from numerous conversations and social media research. 🙂 So I stand supported but that’s still not an excuse for negativity. I have to remind myself to be grateful that I was given the opportunity to go to school and obtain those degrees. I may still be working toward being in my “ideal” career. However, in the meantime, I can be appreciative of my education by supporting others pursuing the same and/or sharing the knowledge I’ve learned to uplift and empower someone else.
So check the Negative Nancies (and Normans) in your own lives. And if you are one, check yourself! Let’s promote positive vibes! In fact, feel free to share some below. 🙂