Life Lessons on Self-Discipline, Growth and Perseverance from “The Wait”


I recently read “The Wait” by Devon Franklin and Megan Good (with Tim Vandehey) and truly enjoyed it! I’ve never been one to re-read  a book, no matter how much I like it, but this is an exception. I could see myself revisiting the book and its wealth of knowledge many times throughout my life’s journey.

I’m sure by now most people are familiar with the general concept of the book. Actress, Meagan Good, and her husband Producer/Writer/Preacher, Devon Franklin, share their experience of practicing celibacy before marriage. For more detailed information about the book, please visit here.) But realize there is so much more to be found in between the covers (no pun intended 🙂 ) of this couple’s love story.

What I gained most out of this book was how to develop a self-discipline strong enough to be patient and persevere through various waiting and growth periods in life. From something as short term as trying to lose weight to as long term as building a dream career, the book is filled with practical knowledge that can be applied to different scenarios.

I am going to highlight just a few areas of the book that exemplify my gainful reading experience. I’ve taken a few excerpts from the book to show parallels. But do realize this is no substitute for the full text. I would highly recommend you go out and purchase a copy if any of the information shared peaks your interest.

The Lessons…

1) In various life periods, sometimes all you can do is wait.

But in the meantime…enjoy your life! Do things that bring you joy. (Not to sound cliché, but really!) Find ways to grow and embrace those opportunities already present. As it is often said, don’t just go through it –grow through it. While you are enjoying the meantime, your reward will be on its way.

I love the example the book provides:

It’s a little like sending the manuscript of your novel to a publisher. You do your best work, cast it into the universe, and cross your fingers. Then you wait. The book might sit on the editor’s desk for months before he reads it, but when he does, he loves it and sends you a letter telling you that he wants to publish it…All this time, while your manuscript is waiting to be read and while the congratulatory letter is making its way to your door, you’re unaware that something terrific is on the way.” (339)

2) Be open to new opportunities and forms in which your desires may be presented.
It’s common to envision your goal and see it coming into play only one way. If it doesn’t happen exactly the way you pictured it, you’re thrown for a loop. (*Waves hand…guilty!*) Specifically, the authors share how your future spouse may not come in the “package” or through the desired path you are expecting. However, this concept can be applied to a list of life goals – career, having children, developing a business and more. In being open, you may end up receiving way more than expected.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

–Joseph Campbell (330 as quoted)

3) Be assertive in chasing your dreams but don’t force things.

There is a difference. You can be determined to get what you want and do anything to get it which is actually vital in success. But if it feels forced, then it probably is. In the end this could turn out to be a rushed version of your dream or even a temporary satisfaction in settling instead of the full manifestation of your original desire.

This is true for so many things in life. When you frantically chase after something, like a dog chasing a car, it actually becomes harder and harder for you to catch. You start making compromises and forgetting who you are, and before long you’ve become someone else. You’ve lost the very qualities that made it possible for you to catch what you were chasing. That’s true for love, career, wealth, you name it.” (199)

4) Appreciate that you may have more to learn before you reach your desired destination.

Perhaps you need to gain more clarity and wisdom that will be required for the next level. Something you’ll be so much more appreciative of down the line. Trust me, true story!

When you wait, things become clear. It’s a bit like walking out of an amusement park into the real world: the rides and games and colorful distractions are gone and things seem a little dull, but then you realize that everything’s open to you from horizon to horizon. That’s empowering.” (206)


I hope that this review has been enlightening for various waiting periods in your life. Whether you agree with Meagan and Devon’s personal practice of celibacy or not, there is much to take away from this book and a wealth of wisdom to apply. Feel free to share any thoughts or questions below. And let me know what you think of the book if you decide to read it! 🙂



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